U.S.S. Dark Time Bad Wolf

Distinctly Off Colour

5 notes

calorificcannonball:

shipofbutterandbees:

calorificcannonball:

Also, my mum called a 10-year old child a cunt to his face today. Standard.

Your mum: Fantastic

I believe the full script went:

Mum: Oh why don’t you just fuck off?

Child: I’m going to tell my mum you swore at meeee (you know in that petulant 10-year old gobby child voice)

Mum: Yeah, are you? Well tell her I told you to fuck off you little cunt.

I’m scared about where my genes could take me.

I can hear her saying that, yes. I am not surprised

0 notes

thesoap-box asked: facebook is too mainstream so your bday message is coming alla tumblr :) Have the fab birthday you deserve!! Sorry for not having seen you this summer (in exile in stoke on trent)

Thanks! I appreciate the extra hipster effort that went into this message, and it’s totally fine, my heart goes out to that mysterious locale, hopefully you’ll see sense and return soon!

106 notes

So, I come back to tumblr after a long leave of absence, and this is the first thing I see. 
I worry this place is going to suck me in again.

So, I come back to tumblr after a long leave of absence, and this is the first thing I see. 

I worry this place is going to suck me in again.

(Source: shitshilarious)

2 notes

calorificcannonball:

My life seemingly revolves around buying not-essential-but-probably-good-things-to-have things for the house. Like today, wrapping paper and reusable shopping bags. I am all the cool.

That bag. Just carry that everywhere and use it for everything.

calorificcannonball:

My life seemingly revolves around buying not-essential-but-probably-good-things-to-have things for the house. Like today, wrapping paper and reusable shopping bags. I am all the cool.

That bag. Just carry that everywhere and use it for everything.

1 note

calorificcannonball:

My parents have watched four whole episodes of Breaking Bad while I’ve been in Brighton. So proud. They’re already in love with Walt Jr., and Mark has tried to look up the recipe for crystal meth. I have done well.

This does not surprise me

9 notes

calorificcannonball:

relentlesslyenthusiastic:

missdarjeeling:

Alister luvs Lewis

Oh here we go again. Apparently one girlfriend and one boyfriend just isn’t enough: my boyfriend needs to have two boyfriends. For fuck’s sake! 

I JUST WANT TO BE LOVED

This is, this is fantastic. And will hopefully fill the house with the smell of fresh baked breads, wholesome meals and tasteful flower arrangements

calorificcannonball:

relentlesslyenthusiastic:

missdarjeeling:

Alister luvs Lewis

Oh here we go again. Apparently one girlfriend and one boyfriend just isn’t enough: my boyfriend needs to have two boyfriends. For fuck’s sake! 

I JUST WANT TO BE LOVED

This is, this is fantastic. And will hopefully fill the house with the smell of fresh baked breads, wholesome meals and tasteful flower arrangements

3 notes

calorificcannonball:

shipofbutterandbees:

calorificcannonball:

Oh and this is the Eton Mess flavour ice cream that I made. It was probably the best thing I made and will ever make. It was like a secret Ben and Jerry’s flavour (Taken with Instagram)

Lewis. You don’t just make an ice cream flavoured like my favourite food item in the entire world and not tell me.
Jesus, it’s like you don’t even know me.

I was going to text you yesterday about it because it was the greatest thing ever (there’s even crushed meringue in it) but I forgot and was busy. Don’t worry I plan on making it loads next year. It’s pretty easy. I’ll teach you.

YEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS

calorificcannonball:

shipofbutterandbees:

calorificcannonball:

Oh and this is the Eton Mess flavour ice cream that I made. It was probably the best thing I made and will ever make. It was like a secret Ben and Jerry’s flavour (Taken with Instagram)

Lewis. You don’t just make an ice cream flavoured like my favourite food item in the entire world and not tell me.

Jesus, it’s like you don’t even know me.

I was going to text you yesterday about it because it was the greatest thing ever (there’s even crushed meringue in it) but I forgot and was busy. Don’t worry I plan on making it loads next year. It’s pretty easy. I’ll teach you.

YEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS

3 notes

calorificcannonball:

Oh and this is the Eton Mess flavour ice cream that I made. It was probably the best thing I made and will ever make. It was like a secret Ben and Jerry’s flavour (Taken with Instagram)

Lewis. You don’t just make an ice cream flavoured like my favourite food item in the entire world and not tell me.
Jesus, it’s like you don’t even know me.

calorificcannonball:

Oh and this is the Eton Mess flavour ice cream that I made. It was probably the best thing I made and will ever make. It was like a secret Ben and Jerry’s flavour (Taken with Instagram)

Lewis. You don’t just make an ice cream flavoured like my favourite food item in the entire world and not tell me.

Jesus, it’s like you don’t even know me.